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Celeste! Favor us with your cranberry recipe, please

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  • Celeste! Favor us with your cranberry recipe, please

    For no readily apparent reason, I've just realized that we're only about five or six weeks away from Thanksgiving. I've been looking forward to this recipe this year, but it was obliterated with the old NEIP.


    If you would please be so kind as to favor us with this recipe, I would be most appreciative, as, I think, would others.
    Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
    No one will be denied:
    Big law suits and bathroom toots;
    We're all getting Dixie-fried.
    But somewhere Hank and Lefty
    Are rollin' in their graves
    While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

  • #2
    She flies to Alaska every year in August. She wades through thigh deep swampy tundra for miles collecting only the choicest high bush Cranberries. She then lovingly pre-masticates them into a pulp carefully expelling them into a wooden bowl. Now coated with Liberal saliva or liberally coated with saliva, depending on your political slant, the berries are left for four days in the sun.

    Shall I go on?.................
    If it pays, it stays

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm pretty sure I don't remember anything about mastication in the prior recipes. I thought I remembered something about brown sugar, maybe....


      My brain has officially been ticked on, so I'm going to have to have thoughts about Thanksgiving for the next several weeks. Whether I want it or not, I'm going to think about this one meal for weeks, and how to make it perfect.


      Granted, it's an odd compulsion, but it's what I have. I figure it beats the Hell out of sitting in a corner and rocking on my heels or whatever. With any luck, my compulsion can help others with compulsions....
      Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
      No one will be denied:
      Big law suits and bathroom toots;
      We're all getting Dixie-fried.
      But somewhere Hank and Lefty
      Are rollin' in their graves
      While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

      Comment


      • #4
        Very simple (the only kind of recipe I do). Ingredients (per bag of berries):

        1 standard size can of chunk pineapple in juice (NOT syrup);
        1 small package of slivered almonds;
        Zest of 1 lemon.

        Buy the cranberries that have the standard preparation instructions on the bag (basically, equal amounts of sugar and water). Cut the sugar by at least a fourth. Substitute orange juice for the water, or drain the canned pineapple chunks and use the juice plus enough water to make up the recommended amount of liquid. Otherwise prepare as directed on the package. Just before removing from heat, stir in lemon zest.

        Chill thoroughly. Just before serving, fold in most of the pineapple chunks and slivered almonds. Garnish with the rest and serve.

        Sugar Twin can be substituted measure for measure for real sugar if sugar is an issue. Equal or anything that comes powdered instead of granulated cannot.

        Enjoy!
        "Think as I think," said a man,
        "Or you are abominably wicked;
        You are a toad."
        And after I had thought of it,
        I said: "I will, then, be a toad." - Stephen Crane

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Celeste Chalfonte View Post
          Very simple (the only kind of recipe I do). Ingredients (per bag of berries):

          1 standard size can of chunk pineapple in juice (NOT syrup);
          1 small package of slivered almonds;
          Zest of 1 lemon.

          Buy the cranberries that have the standard preparation instructions on the bag (basically, equal amounts of sugar and water). Cut the sugar by at least a fourth. Substitute orange juice for the water, or drain the canned pineapple chunks and use the juice plus enough water to make up the recommended amount of liquid. Otherwise prepare as directed on the package. Just before removing from heat, stir in lemon zest.

          Chill thoroughly. Just before serving, fold in most of the pineapple chunks and slivered almonds. Garnish with the rest and serve.

          Sugar Twin can be substituted measure for measure for real sugar if sugar is an issue. Equal or anything that comes powdered instead of granulated cannot.

          Enjoy!
          No pre-mastication required?
          If it pays, it stays

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Frostbit View Post
            No pre-mastication required?
            Don't project your kinky stuff on me, dude.
            "Think as I think," said a man,
            "Or you are abominably wicked;
            You are a toad."
            And after I had thought of it,
            I said: "I will, then, be a toad." - Stephen Crane

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Celeste Chalfonte View Post
              Very simple (the only kind of recipe I do). Ingredients (per bag of berries):

              1 standard size can of chunk pineapple in juice (NOT syrup);
              1 small package of slivered almonds;
              Zest of 1 lemon.

              Buy the cranberries that have the standard preparation instructions on the bag (basically, equal amounts of sugar and water). Cut the sugar by at least a fourth. Substitute orange juice for the water, or drain the canned pineapple chunks and use the juice plus enough water to make up the recommended amount of liquid. Otherwise prepare as directed on the package. Just before removing from heat, stir in lemon zest.

              Chill thoroughly. Just before serving, fold in most of the pineapple chunks and slivered almonds. Garnish with the rest and serve.

              Sugar Twin can be substituted measure for measure for real sugar if sugar is an issue. Equal or anything that comes powdered instead of granulated cannot.

              Enjoy!
              Thanks! I'm busy formulating my Thanksgiving menu in my head, and this should go quite nicely with my apple-raisin stuffing.
              Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
              No one will be denied:
              Big law suits and bathroom toots;
              We're all getting Dixie-fried.
              But somewhere Hank and Lefty
              Are rollin' in their graves
              While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Adam View Post
                Thanks! I'm busy formulating my Thanksgiving menu in my head, and this should go quite nicely with my apple-raisin stuffing.
                Fruit in stuffing is an abomination...just saying. Actually, we don't stuff the turkey, but Nova makes awesome baked dressing. I think he buys extra giblets. Celery, onions, ... but NO fruit or bivalves (the latter being some sort of damyankee perversion).
                "Think as I think," said a man,
                "Or you are abominably wicked;
                You are a toad."
                And after I had thought of it,
                I said: "I will, then, be a toad." - Stephen Crane

                Comment


                • #9
                  Well, I just picked up all the stuff to make this again this year. It was indeed quite wonderful last year. I wound up making two separate batches last year, in fact.

                  One discovery I made last year: it adds quite a nice little bit of flavor to mix in a little airplane bottle of vodka as the mixture cools.


                  Thanks for the killer recipe!
                  Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
                  No one will be denied:
                  Big law suits and bathroom toots;
                  We're all getting Dixie-fried.
                  But somewhere Hank and Lefty
                  Are rollin' in their graves
                  While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Every year I swear I'm going to make homemade cranberry sauce...then I say "meh". This recipe does look good, though. Pineapple makes everything better.
                    Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live...
                    Robert Southwell, S.J.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by phillygirl View Post
                      Every year I swear I'm going to make homemade cranberry sauce...then I say "meh". This recipe does look good, though. Pineapple makes everything better.
                      It takes less than 20 minutes. Really. If I can make it, anybody can. Remember, I'm the one whose 4-year-old explained to someone, "Mama is not much of a cooker."
                      "Think as I think," said a man,
                      "Or you are abominably wicked;
                      You are a toad."
                      And after I had thought of it,
                      I said: "I will, then, be a toad." - Stephen Crane

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by phillygirl View Post
                        Every year I swear I'm going to make homemade cranberry sauce...then I say "meh". This recipe does look good, though. Pineapple makes everything better.
                        I can certainly back up Celeste that this is super-easy. It's barely more time and effort than heating up a can of soup. And the rewards are definitely well worth it: the difference between this and something out of a can, or even something from a deli, is night and day.
                        Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
                        No one will be denied:
                        Big law suits and bathroom toots;
                        We're all getting Dixie-fried.
                        But somewhere Hank and Lefty
                        Are rollin' in their graves
                        While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Adam View Post
                          I can certainly back up Celeste that this is super-easy. It's barely more time and effort than heating up a can of soup. And the rewards are definitely well worth it: the difference between this and something out of a can, or even something from a deli, is night and day.
                          It's not so much the time commitment, it's just that I tend to bring a lot of things to my sister's already, and the packing up of everything to deliver starts to be a pain. This year her sister-in-law is having Christmas, so I think I'm going to do like the rest of them do...bring one dish and that's it. I usually do all the appetizers, one or two side dishes and one or two desserts. I cut back for this Thanksgiving because we're having a smaller crowd and eating early. Minimal appetizers (cheese board and spinach dip), the sweet potatoes and one pie. I will probably head down to Maryland after dinner for some peace and quiet.
                          Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live...
                          Robert Southwell, S.J.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by phillygirl View Post
                            It's not so much the time commitment, it's just that I tend to bring a lot of things to my sister's already, and the packing up of everything to deliver starts to be a pain. This year her sister-in-law is having Christmas, so I think I'm going to do like the rest of them do...bring one dish and that's it. I usually do all the appetizers, one or two side dishes and one or two desserts. I cut back for this Thanksgiving because we're having a smaller crowd and eating early. Minimal appetizers (cheese board and spinach dip), the sweet potatoes and one pie. I will probably head down to Maryland after dinner for some peace and quiet.
                            Understood. BTDT.

                            When I was still married, the ex drew Thanksgiving duty every year at whatever veterinary practice she was at. Someone has to go and feed the dogs and cats and give them water and all of that. Most of the places where she worked, there were plenty of "orphans:" college kids working through Thanksgiving for some extra bux, DVM students putting in their hours, etc. For several years, I would get up at 0dark:30 and start Thanksgiving for those folks and then take it all to them: turkey, stuffing, gravy, deviled eggs, etc., etc., etc. It's definitely not easy transporting all of that stuff, particularly if it's more than just a couple of miles away. Just getting all of that into the car and secured in some fashion that wouldn't turn into a gelatinous mass in the trunk was a thirty-minute endeavor at the bare minimum. For a few years, Nikki worked at a place that was about 30 miles away on a winding, twisty road up and down the side of the Cumberland Rim. Trying to keep all of that stuff from flying apart on a hairpin curve was certainly a challenge to my patience at the very least.

                            It was worth it, a labor of love. These were people who otherwise were going home to whatever 88¢ TV dinner they could afford. To give them a solid Thanksgiving meal was just something meaningful I could do for young folks struggling to get a leg up in the world.



                            The great part about cranberry sauce is that it travels well. I picked up a couple of those "disposable reusable" ziploc tubs, and then I'll bring the serving bowl empty. Once I get there, I'll just empty out the ziplocs into the bowl and voilà! Thanksgiving is done.
                            Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
                            No one will be denied:
                            Big law suits and bathroom toots;
                            We're all getting Dixie-fried.
                            But somewhere Hank and Lefty
                            Are rollin' in their graves
                            While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Adam View Post
                              Understood. BTDT.

                              When I was still married, the ex drew Thanksgiving duty every year at whatever veterinary practice she was at. Someone has to go and feed the dogs and cats and give them water and all of that. Most of the places where she worked, there were plenty of "orphans:" college kids working through Thanksgiving for some extra bux, DVM students putting in their hours, etc. For several years, I would get up at 0dark:30 and start Thanksgiving for those folks and then take it all to them: turkey, stuffing, gravy, deviled eggs, etc., etc., etc. It's definitely not easy transporting all of that stuff, particularly if it's more than just a couple of miles away. Just getting all of that into the car and secured in some fashion that wouldn't turn into a gelatinous mass in the trunk was a thirty-minute endeavor at the bare minimum. For a few years, Nikki worked at a place that was about 30 miles away on a winding, twisty road up and down the side of the Cumberland Rim. Trying to keep all of that stuff from flying apart on a hairpin curve was certainly a challenge to my patience at the very least.

                              It was worth it, a labor of love. These were people who otherwise were going home to whatever 88¢ TV dinner they could afford. To give them a solid Thanksgiving meal was just something meaningful I could do for young folks struggling to get a leg up in the world.



                              The great part about cranberry sauce is that it travels well. I picked up a couple of those "disposable reusable" ziploc tubs, and then I'll bring the serving bowl empty. Once I get there, I'll just empty out the ziplocs into the bowl and voilà! Thanksgiving is done.
                              Nice. It will be nice for you to relax and enjoy the dinner. One of these years I'm just going to go away to someplace warm for the holiday and skip the family dynamics. I'll miss the kids, though.
                              Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live...
                              Robert Southwell, S.J.

                              Comment

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