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  • For Gramps

    I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."



    I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."



    When you are over sixty who gives a shit?



    ***********



    I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.



    "Really" she said, "Go on then...try."



    After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.



    "Come on, what day was I born"?



    I said, "Yesterday."



    When you are over sixty who gives a shit?



    ***********



    I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.



    When you are over sixty who gives a shit?



    ***********



    I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Nice legs."



    The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."



    I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "



    When you are over sixty who gives a shit?
    If it pays, it stays

  • #2
    Old guy is sitting on a park bench
    A prostitute sits down beside him..
    Whispers in his ear... "I have something for you"

    What?

    Super Sex...

    He says... guess I better try the soup...
    Robert Francis O'Rourke, Democrat, White guy, spent ~78 million to defeat, Ted Cruz, Republican immigrant Dark guy …
    and lost …
    But the Republicans are racist.

    Comment


    • #3
      I've only ever been slapped by a girl at a bar once. And I deserved it...

      Spent the better part of the night just sitting at the bar and chatting up the young lady next to me, for no other reason than boredom.

      The bartender calls last call, and I bid her a good night. Says she, "And here I thought you were trying to get lucky tonight."

      I looked her up and down, and said, "That's lucky?"

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by ReinMan View Post
        I've only ever been slapped by a girl at a bar once. And I deserved it...

        Spent the better part of the night just sitting at the bar and chatting up the young lady next to me, for no other reason than boredom.

        The bartender calls last call, and I bid her a good night. Says she, "And here I thought you were trying to get lucky tonight."

        I looked her up and down, and said, "That's lucky?"
        Ouch!

        I bet it was totally worth it.
        "Faith is nothing but a firm assent of the mind : which, if it be regulated, as is our duty, cannot be afforded to anything but upon good reason, and so cannot be opposite to it."

        -John Locke

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by scott View Post
          Ouch!

          I bet it was totally worth it.
          Totally.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ReinMan View Post
            I've only ever been slapped by a girl at a bar once. And I deserved it...

            Spent the better part of the night just sitting at the bar and chatting up the young lady next to me, for no other reason than boredom.

            The bartender calls last call, and I bid her a good night. Says she, "And here I thought you were trying to get lucky tonight."

            I looked her up and down, and said, "That's lucky?"
            I came close once.
            In a bar in Memphis (hotel bar..)... couple of drinks, then supper and turn in.
            Group of lawyers from Little Rock at the bar.
            Good looking woman beside me.
            We chat. Nothing astounding.
            They start up a 'learn to line dance' thing on the stage and invite people to learn.
            The lady starts pestering me to do it with her.
            Finally, after about 3 no thanks, I said... 'maam, I'm married and not on the hunt.. look around and I'm sure you can pick one that is'

            She got indignent and said ... 'well neither am I'..
            I said.. 'and sometimes I pretend to be a paraplegic for sympathy'...

            Finished my drink with her back to me.. left for supper...
            Robert Francis O'Rourke, Democrat, White guy, spent ~78 million to defeat, Ted Cruz, Republican immigrant Dark guy …
            and lost …
            But the Republicans are racist.

            Comment

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