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10 Real Book Covers From Dinosaur-On-Human Sex Novels

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  • 10 Real Book Covers From Dinosaur-On-Human Sex Novels

    10 Real Book Covers From Dinosaur-On-Human Sex Novels
    By Cyriaque Lamar October 06, 2013 326,031 views



    As these things happen, it's come to the planet's attention that a pair of Texas college students has been self-publishing a not-unsuccessful series of dinosaur-on-girl porno novellas on Amazon.

    Given that the Internet requires elaborate sex fantasies involving The Price Is Right and the Muppets to even maintain an erection, dino porn seems quasi-puritanical. But these books sport outright hilarious art, which juxtaposes a blase stock photo model with a confused CG dinosaur. Here are the 10 best covers.

    #10. Running from the Raptor

    Amazon

    Key Blurb: "Instead of the tearing her to bits, the raptor begins to nuzzle at her nether regions."

    It's a fair assumption that the authors blessed these dinos with big ol' mammalian Fabio dongs. If we're being evolutionarily sound, the happy raptor up there will likely end up unceremoniously dumping a cloaca full of sperm all over that gal and pass out a good 90 seconds before his cave-stereo hits the drum solo from "In the Air Tonight."
    Softcore dino porn. I have lived too long. Nine more at the link.

    Sadly, my secretary might read these if she knew about them. Thank God she's still working through Nora Roberts.

    Read more: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/1...#ixzz2hB5DZrbI
    "Alexa, slaughter the fatted calf."

  • #2
    Key Blurb: "A very special T-Rex is hunting her -- this T-Rex has psychic powers."
    If it pays, it stays

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Frostbit View Post
      Key Blurb: "A very special T-Rex is hunting her -- this T-Rex has psychic powers."
      And bulging pecs - no small trick for a reptile.
      "Alexa, slaughter the fatted calf."

      Comment


      • #4
        Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
        No one will be denied:
        Big law suits and bathroom toots;
        We're all getting Dixie-fried.
        But somewhere Hank and Lefty
        Are rollin' in their graves
        While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Adam View Post
          ROTFLMAO!
          "Alexa, slaughter the fatted calf."

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Gingersnap View Post
            ROTFLMAO!
            Someone happened to e-mail this one to me a couple of years ago, and it was particularly amusing to me at the time.

            I had moved into an apartment after the divorce. The bathroom, as apartments go, was huge. This was one of the apartment complexes built in the very late '70s/'80s when ADA effectively required that all ground-floor units were wheelchair-accessible. The complex had "de-ADAed" the apartment after those ludicrous rules were finally relaxed so that the counters were normal height and such, but there's not really any good way to shrink the bathroom, so that was still huge. That happened to work beautifully for me, because the tub still had the grab-bars in it, and there was one grab-bar still installed near the toilet. But one thing they couldn't really change was that the toilet paper dispenser was at least six feet away from the toilet. I didn't happen to notice this when I was busy moving in, but the first time I went to do my business on my shiny new toilet, I was in for a rather rude awakening. It's bad enough to be in such a situation under "normal" circumstances, but trying to work around that while on a walker is just demoralizing.



            After that, la-la tickets stayed on the tank, with "reserves" in a basket next to the pot, within easy reach.
            Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
            No one will be denied:
            Big law suits and bathroom toots;
            We're all getting Dixie-fried.
            But somewhere Hank and Lefty
            Are rollin' in their graves
            While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Adam View Post
              T-Rex Crossfit humor
              If it pays, it stays

              Comment

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