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Why I Make Terrible Decisions, or, poverty thoughts

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  • Why I Make Terrible Decisions, or, poverty thoughts

    Why I Make Terrible Decisions, or, poverty thoughts

    There's no way to structure this coherently. They are random observations that might help explain the mental processes. But often, I think that we look at the academic problems of poverty and have no idea of the why. We know the what and the how, and we can see systemic problems, but it's rare to have a poor person actually explain it on their own behalf. So this is me doing that, sort of.

    Rest is a luxury for the rich. I get up at 6AM, go to school (I have a full courseload, but I only have to go to two in-person classes) then work, then I get the kids, then I pick up my husband, then I have half an hour to change and go to Job 2. I get home from that at around 1230AM, then I have the rest of my classes and work to tend to. I'm in bed by 3. This isn't every day, I have two days off a week from each of my obligations. I use that time to clean the house and soothe Mr. Martini and see the kids for longer than an hour and catch up on schoolwork. Those nights I'm in bed by midnight, but if I go to bed too early I won't be able to stay up the other nights because I'll fuck my pattern up, and I drive an hour home from Job 2 so I can't afford to be sleepy. I never get a day off from work unless I am fairly sick. It doesn't leave you much room to think about what you are doing, only to attend to the next thing and the next. Planning isn't in the mix.

    When I got pregnant the first time, I was living in a weekly motel. I had a minifridge with no freezer and a microwave. I was on WIC. I ate peanut butter from the jar and frozen burritos because they were 12/$2. Had I had a stove, I couldn't have made beef burritos that cheaply. And I needed the meat, I was pregnant. I might not have had any prenatal care, but I am intelligent enough to eat protein and iron whilst knocked up.

    I know how to cook. I had to take Home Ec to graduate high school. Most people on my level didn't. Broccoli is intimidating. You have to have a working stove, and pots, and spices, and you'll have to do the dishes no matter how tired you are or they'll attract bugs. It is a huge new skill for a lot of people. That's not great, but it's true. And if you fuck it up, you could make your family sick. We have learned not to try too hard to be middle-class. It never works out well and always makes you feel worse for having tried and failed yet again. Better not to try. It makes more sense to get food that you know will be palatable and cheap and that keeps well. Junk food is a pleasure that we are allowed to have; why would we give that up? We have very few of them.

    The closest Planned Parenthood to me is three hours. That's a lot of money in gas. Lots of women can't afford that, and even if you live near one you probably don't want to be seen coming in and out in a lot of areas. We're aware that we are not "having kids," we're "breeding." We have kids for much the same reasons that I imagine rich people do. Urge to propagate and all. Nobody likes poor people procreating, but they judge abortion even harder.
    "There are four lights!"

  • #2
    Interesting piece for those inclined to like such things.

    Others can read it for another reason to feel superior.
    "There are four lights!"

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Billy Jingo View Post
      Interesting piece for those inclined to like such things.

      Others can read it for another reason to feel superior.
      How did you read it?
      May we raise children who love the unloved things - the dandelion, the worm, the spiderlings.
      Children who sense the rose needs the thorn and run into rainswept days the same way they turn towards the sun...
      And when they're grown and someone has to speak for those who have no voice,
      may they draw upon that wilder bond, those days of tending tender things and be the one.

      Comment


      • #4
        This thing is so incredibly disjointed that I finally gave up about two-thirds of the way in whenever she got all maudlin about how she'll always be poor. I realized then that this was just a pitiful attention-whore whine.


        Let's see:

        Rest is a luxury for the rich.
        Newsflash, honey: rich people don't rest, either. That's how they got rich in the first place.

        When I got pregnant the first time, I was living in a weekly motel.
        Well, I think we've pretty much found out why you're poor, haven't we?

        We're aware that we are not "having kids," we're "breeding." We have kids for much the same reasons that I imagine rich people do. Urge to propagate and all.
        And knowing that this is costing you money you cannot afford, you keep doing it.

        Nobody likes poor people procreating, but they judge abortion even harder.
        Now it's just a pity party. No one ever said that they don't like poor people procreating. That's just a great big lie. What people have said (myself included) is that you ought to consider what the result of your romp in the sack might be. Yanno, like turning up pregnant when you're living in a by-the-week motel and living on microwave burritos.

        It's just amazing how cause and effect work, innit?

        Especially since the Patriot Act passed, it's hard to get a bank account.
        What spectacular bullshit! Fucking illegal aliens get bank accounts every day in this country. Don't give me this shit about it's hard to get a bank account. What a load of BS!

        We know that the very act of being poor guarantees that we will never not be poor.
        More steaming horseshit. That claim assumes that no one ever improves themselves in this country. Ever. That's just ludicrous bullshit.

        I would make a super legal secretary, but I've been turned down more than once because I "don't fit the image of the firm," which is a nice way of saying "gtfo, pov."
        It also almost certainly means that you have chosen to have green hair, a bolt through your nose, and "fuck you" tattooed on your forehead because you thought it was cool, and now you wonder why people don't want to hire you.

        "Free" only exists for rich people. It's great that there's a bowl of condoms at my school, but most poor people will never set foot on a college campus. We don't belong there.
        And yet there you are, poor, poor, pitiful you, taking a full class load.

        Hmph. Odd, that.

        I am not asking for sympathy.
        Yes you are. Don't bother denying it.




        And now Bok will come along and tut-tut and post something like "toldja" to prove his moral superiority.
        Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
        No one will be denied:
        Big law suits and bathroom toots;
        We're all getting Dixie-fried.
        But somewhere Hank and Lefty
        Are rollin' in their graves
        While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

        Comment


        • #5
          You left out the smoking.
          "There are four lights!"

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Billy Jingo View Post
            You left out the smoking.
            That was right after where I gave up and scrolled to the bottom to see if there was any actual point to this silly screed.
            Bask in the warmth of the Deep South
            No one will be denied:
            Big law suits and bathroom toots;
            We're all getting Dixie-fried.
            But somewhere Hank and Lefty
            Are rollin' in their graves
            While kudzu vines grow over signs that read "Jesus Saves."

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Adam View Post
              That was right after where I gave up and scrolled to the bottom to see if there was any actual point to this silly screed.
              Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
              "There are four lights!"

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Billy Jingo View Post
                Interesting piece for those inclined to like such things.
                Odd use of the word "like". What do you mean by those that "like" "such" things. Like poverty? Like blog posts? Like stream of consciousness?

                Others can read it for another reason to feel superior.
                Superior?

                There really is a class envy thing going on here, isn't there? I don't feel superior to anyone (well, sometimes my sister, but that's kind of a sibling thing). I do, however, recognize that I've been good in some areas of my life in terms of making decisions. Not so good in many other areas. I try (but am not always successful) to recognize when it's my poor decision making that causes hiccups in my life.

                As for the rich having "rest". That may be. But not for all rich people, and generally not for most rich people. One of my mantras has always been that, for me, life is about money and time. I never have the 2 simultaneously. I'm at a stage in my life that I have enough money to do most anything, within reason, that I have a real desire to do. I don't have the time within which to do so. There was a time in my life when I had all the time in the world, but no money with which to do things I'd have liked to have done. My hope is that in the not so far future I will have both the money and the time. It's probably why I like the movie "In Time" so much. It feels like my life.
                Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live...
                Robert Southwell, S.J.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by phillygirl View Post
                  Odd use of the word "like". What do you mean by those that "like" "such" things. Like poverty? Like blog posts? Like stream of consciousness?
                  Information.

                  Superior?
                  Yes.

                  There really is a class envy thing going on here, isn't there?
                  No. Envy is not my bag.

                  Unless you are talking about the author of the piece and chances are what she thinks is "rich" is really just a person who has a different set of choices when they wake up. More than likely, just what you and I would consider ordinary living. You know. A glass of wine, a book, and a pipe by the fire in the evening. That was my take, anyway. Maybe she was talking about people who drop 73 million on a Rothko.

                  I don't feel superior to anyone (well, sometimes my sister, but that's kind of a sibling thing). I do, however, recognize that I've been good in some areas of my life in terms of making decisions. Not so good in many other areas. I try (but am not always successful) to recognize when it's my poor decision making that causes hiccups in my life.

                  As for the rich having "rest". That may be. But not for all rich people, and generally not for most rich people. One of my mantras has always been that, for me, life is about money and time. I never have the 2 simultaneously. I'm at a stage in my life that I have enough money to do most anything, within reason, that I have a real desire to do. I don't have the time within which to do so. There was a time in my life when I had all the time in the world, but no money with which to do things I'd have liked to have done. My hope is that in the not so far future I will have both the money and the time. It's probably why I like the movie "In Time" so much. It feels like my life.
                  You deserve it all.
                  "There are four lights!"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    After reading about this poor person's lot in life I think perhaps Joyce and I should make some changes in ours.

                    Let's see. She now has cancer and was terminated from her employment 9 days later losing all benefits. That turned us from a two earner household instantly into one with huge medical costs and the need to COBRA our health insurance since I was covered on her policy which was better than the one offered at our office.

                    I suppose we could be irresponsible in the face of this economic downturn and go and adopt a child to make us feel better since we can't be "breeders". That would be a smart move financially now. :: insert sarcasm emoticon::

                    Twice in my working life I made career changes each time attending higher education while working fulltime. My rest was curtailed and I didn't whine. I just didn't work out as much as I do now. Maybe the difference is I finished both of those educations and aparently interview for jobs better than this poor person.

                    Found out recently Joyce is probably eligible for SS diability. We aren't applying. We have saved for these bumps in the road. Guess I won't be buying any new rifles this year. Boo Hoo poor me. Might even have to cancel the trip to Mozambique. Excuse me, it's really hard for me to type I'm so upset.
                    If it pays, it stays

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Frostbit View Post
                      After reading about this poor person's lot in life I think perhaps Joyce and I should make some changes in ours.

                      Let's see. She now has cancer and was terminated from her employment 9 days later losing all benefits. That turned us from a two earner household instantly into one with huge medical costs and the need to COBRA our health insurance since I was covered on her policy which was better than the one offered at our office.

                      I suppose we could be irresponsible in the face of this economic downturn and go and adopt a child to make us feel better since we can't be "breeders". That would be a smart move financially now. :: insert sarcasm emoticon::

                      Twice in my working life I made career changes each time attending higher education while working fulltime. My rest was curtailed and I didn't whine. I just didn't work out as much as I do now. Maybe the difference is I finished both of those educations and aparently interview for jobs better than this poor person.

                      Found out recently Joyce is probably eligible for SS diability. We aren't applying. We have saved for these bumps in the road. Guess I won't be buying any new rifles this year. Boo Hoo poor me. Might even have to cancel the trip to Mozambique. Excuse me, it's really hard for me to type I'm so upset.
                      Your greatness is awesome to behold.
                      "There are four lights!"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Assuming this is true, I'm glad to see that she is working to dig herself out of the hole she got herself into. An education will help. Kind of a whiny story though.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Hondo View Post
                          Assuming this is true, I'm glad to see that she is working to dig herself out of the hole she got herself into. An education will help. Kind of a whiny story though.
                          I should have used that caveat. But random blog posts probably have that as a given.
                          "There are four lights!"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Billy Jingo View Post
                            I should have used that caveat. But random blog posts probably have that as a given.

                            And I have no reason to think that it isn't true, so I don't even know why I posted that part. I would still prefer she take a different tone, because complaining about a situation that is largely of her own making won't garner a lot of sympathy from many people. That isn't because they feel superior, it's because they recognize who in the story really is at fault. For example, when I read it I didn't think that I'm better or superior to her, I thought "Life's rough, get a fucking helmet." Probably something her mom should have told her.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Actions and decisions have consequences. Who knew?

                              The blogger didn't apparently.
                              “I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
                              I aim with my eye.

                              "I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
                              I shoot with my mind.

                              "I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.
                              I kill with my heart.”

                              The Gunslinger Creed, Stephen King, The Dark Tower

                              Comment

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