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I Have a Dream:That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think Its a Big Deal

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  • #1

    I Have a Dream:That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think Its a Big Deal

    The only thing Doyin Richards wanted to do was get his daughter ready for school. He had no idea the viral outrage that would cause.

    —-
    Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the best orators in the history of the world and was one of the Top 10 Americans ever. Believe me, I’m not comparing myself to a legend like Dr. King, but I’m going to share my version of the “I Have A Dream” speech with all of you.
    Before I start, let me give you some background.
    Most of you know this, but I’m taking the month of October off from my corporate job for baby bonding with my 3-month old daughter. It’s a lot of work being a stay at home parent, but it’s so damn rewarding. My baby girl smiles at me nonstop these days and I know it’s attributed to the one-on-one time I’m spending with her. It’s a blast.
    One morning last week, MDW was running late for work and was worried that she wouldn’t be able to get DDW1′s hair done before I had to take her to school. I told her that she could leave and I’d handle it. She countered by saying that doing her hair requires attention and the baby would get upset if I left her alone while I played the role of stylist. Again, I told her that I’d handle it. On the way out she said, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

    Link with Pic
    Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live...
    Robert Southwell, S.J.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I really thought this was a pretty straightforward good blog post. I have to admit, I was surprised that he said most of the racist comments came from other black men.

    His kids will really appreciate his commitment to them some day. I do wish more fathers would step it up.
    Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live...
    Robert Southwell, S.J.

    Comment

    • #3
      Yeah, I really like his writings..cute kids, too.
      May we raise children who love the unloved things - the dandelion, the worm, the spiderlings.
      Children who sense the rose needs the thorn and run into rainswept days the same way they turn towards the sun...
      And when they're grown and someone has to speak for those who have no voice,
      may they draw upon that wilder bond, those days of tending tender things and be the one.

      Comment

      • #4
        I really don't get where these other people get off. When I look at the picture, the first thing that comes to mind for me is "hey, that's pretty smart." The second thing that comes to mind is "one day that young girl is going to remember moments like this with an actual father, and that's a good thing."


        I can't even fathom the other stuff, particularly the bit about different skin tone in the kids. I had to look about three times to even see it.
        It's been ten years since that lonely day I left you
        In the morning rain, smoking gun in hand
        Ten lonely years but how my heart, it still remembers
        Pray for me, momma, I'm a gypsy now

        Comment

        • #5
          Originally posted by Adam View Post
          I really don't get where these other people get off. When I look at the picture, the first thing that comes to mind for me is "hey, that's pretty smart." The second thing that comes to mind is "one day that young girl is going to remember moments like this with an actual father, and that's a good thing."


          I can't even fathom the other stuff, particularly the bit about different skin tone in the kids. I had to look about three times to even see it.
          Yeah, I had no idea what they were talking about when they said the kids weren't black. Ridiculous stuff.
          Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live...
          Robert Southwell, S.J.

          Comment

          • #6
            I know my dad took shit from other guys who said he was "pussy-whipped." I can't recall a time when he ever appeared to find that anything other than hilarious. He didn't spend time with us kids because my mom "made him take care of the kids." He grabbed every opportunity to do it. He could braid hair, change diapers (ok, nobody LIKES changing diapers, but he did it), read a story, sing a lullaby and kiss a scraped knee with the best of'em. He could also build a motorized toy car that would carry all 3 of us (from scrap lumber and salvaged engine parts), teach a little kid to fish, and carry any one of us the length of the Elks' Club pool on his back without coming up for air. And when HRH was born, he could do most of that all over again.

            HRH never had any concept of sex roles until she went to school. Don't all uncles clean house and sew costumes? Don't all grandmas teach little girls to dribble a soccer ball, and don't all granddads cook? And even in elementary school, her mom and Amanda's mom were lawyers, and Amanda's dad took care of the house and kids and went on field trips.

            I'm with the author...what century is this?
            "Since the historic ruling, the Lovings have become icons for equality. Mildred released a statement on the 40th anniversary of the ruling in 2007: 'I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, Black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.'." - Mildred Loving (Loving v. Virginia)

            Comment

            • #7
              I've done this, got similar backlash (obviously not the racial stuff - what's up with that?) too.

              These women will tell me that their men are angry that I’m making them “look bad” because they aren’t holding up their end of the bargain when it comes to parenting. Here’s the thing: I don’t make anyone look bad. These guys are doing a fine job on their own according to the women in their lives.
              OMFG yes!

              I got this a LOT at NU.
              "Faith is nothing but a firm assent of the mind : which, if it be regulated, as is our duty, cannot be afforded to anything but upon good reason, and so cannot be opposite to it."
              -John Locke

              "It's all been melded together into one giant, authoritarian, leftist scream."
              -Newman

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by scott View Post
                I've done this, got similar backlash (obviously not the racial stuff - what's up with that?) too.



                OMFG yes!

                I got this a LOT at NU.
                I don't think is just confined to childcare and household management anymore (although men seem to get huge blow-back for those things, often from women). It seems endemic. If you post about anything that requires the least little amount of attention or skill, someone out there fires back that they wish they had the time (money/education) to obsess over (name the interest).
                "Alexa, slaughter the fatted calf."

                Comment

                • #9
                  Internet Rule # 1. Never read the comments.
                  “Thus it is that no cruelty whatsoever passes by without impact. Thus it is that we always pay dearly for chasing after what is cheap.”

                  ~ Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918–1956​

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    It seems like a whole lot of people don't have enough to do or worry about. I am often the one to detect racial-ethnic variation/composition from appearance and speech and I don't think that I have made a secret of the fact that I disapprove of intentional crossing of ethnic lines. After all, if Diversity is so important a good thing, then surely the process of ending it through miscegenation is a bad thing. But that wouldn't be my first thought on looking at the photo of the dad doing the daughter's hair and carrying the son in the papoose. That get's an "awwww", and why shouldn't it?

                    Why would anyone look at that photo and need to know more or speculate on how it came to be? No, the fact that he's taking care of the kids doesn't mean that he doesn't have a job, though it might. It doesn't mean he's a good father, though he probably is. It's just a snapshot. It tells us very little. This is what goes "viral" these days? Obviously, we don't have enough to talk about.
                    The year's at the spring
                    And day's at the morn;
                    Morning's at seven;
                    The hill-side's dew-pearled;
                    The lark's on the wing;
                    The snail's on the thorn:
                    God's in his heaven—
                    All's right with the world!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      I will be honest. That was not a picture I expected. To me, that was banal. I was expecting something gay.
                      “Thus it is that no cruelty whatsoever passes by without impact. Thus it is that we always pay dearly for chasing after what is cheap.”

                      ~ Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918–1956​

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Billy Jingo View Post
                        I will be honest. That was not a picture I expected. To me, that was banal. I was expecting something gay.
                        Well he is doing hair.
                        The year's at the spring
                        And day's at the morn;
                        Morning's at seven;
                        The hill-side's dew-pearled;
                        The lark's on the wing;
                        The snail's on the thorn:
                        God's in his heaven—
                        All's right with the world!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Novaheart View Post
                          Well he is doing hair.
                          I can't count the number of times I brushed my daughter's hair. That was like a picture of a dude making breakfast.
                          “Thus it is that no cruelty whatsoever passes by without impact. Thus it is that we always pay dearly for chasing after what is cheap.”

                          ~ Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918–1956​

                          Comment

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