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Putin Announces Historic G-1 Summit

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  • Putin Announces Historic G-1 Summit




    MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report) — Russian President Vladimir Putin made history today by scheduling the first-ever summit of the newly formed group of nations called the G-1.

    The summit, which Putin has set for June in Sochi, is expected to be attended by the G-1 member nation Russia.

    Putin pronounced himself delighted by Russia’s attendance, telling reporters, “It is an auspicious start for the G-1 to have the participation of all its member nations.”

    In addition to what he called “a free exchange of ideas on issues of importance to the G-1,” the summit is expected to elect the first president of the G-1, a position for which Putin is widely considered the frontrunner.

    Putin denied he was a candidate for the post, but added, “It’s an honor just to be in the mix.”
    It's been ten years since that lonely day I left you
    In the morning rain, smoking gun in hand
    Ten lonely years but how my heart, it still remembers
    Pray for me, momma, I'm a gypsy now
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