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Why I Filmed My Abortion
Becoming an abortion counselor was kind of unexpected. I was a professional actress for many years. I loved acting, but I felt fairly depressed most of the time. I disliked my body. I felt competitive toward women. I felt completely alienated from myself and everyone else because I was intent on being successful.
I had a friend who was a birth doula, and she fascinated me with her stories about giving birth and growing life. It led me to start looking at my body in a whole different way. I became what’s called a “birth junkie.†I trained as a doula and watched every documentary I could get my hands on. During my training, I learned there are three kinds of doulas: birth doulas, adoption doulas, and abortion doulas. A light went off in my head.
I had never been political about abortion rights before, but the idea of helping women through an abortion and supporting them and reassuring them that they are still wonderful and beautiful resonated deeply with me. I had spent so long in the trappings of competition with other women and putting too much pressure on myself that I just wanted to help women. I reached out to Cherry Hill right after I finished my training. I asked to volunteer, but instead they asked me to come in for a job interview. I was hired on the spot to be one of the clinic’s abortion counselors. I fell into this perfect world that fulfills me in so many different ways.
I found out I was pregnant in November. I had been working at the clinic for about a year. It was my first pregnancy, and, full disclosure, I hadn't been using any kind of birth control, which is crazy, I know. I’m a sex educator, and I love talking about birth control. Before this experience, hormonal birth control scared me because of complications I’d heard about from friends — gaining weight, depression, etc. So I tracked my ovulation cycle, and I didn’t have any long-term partners. I thought I was OK. But, you know, things happen. I wound up pregnant.
Becoming an abortion counselor was kind of unexpected. I was a professional actress for many years. I loved acting, but I felt fairly depressed most of the time. I disliked my body. I felt competitive toward women. I felt completely alienated from myself and everyone else because I was intent on being successful.
I had a friend who was a birth doula, and she fascinated me with her stories about giving birth and growing life. It led me to start looking at my body in a whole different way. I became what’s called a “birth junkie.†I trained as a doula and watched every documentary I could get my hands on. During my training, I learned there are three kinds of doulas: birth doulas, adoption doulas, and abortion doulas. A light went off in my head.
I had never been political about abortion rights before, but the idea of helping women through an abortion and supporting them and reassuring them that they are still wonderful and beautiful resonated deeply with me. I had spent so long in the trappings of competition with other women and putting too much pressure on myself that I just wanted to help women. I reached out to Cherry Hill right after I finished my training. I asked to volunteer, but instead they asked me to come in for a job interview. I was hired on the spot to be one of the clinic’s abortion counselors. I fell into this perfect world that fulfills me in so many different ways.
I found out I was pregnant in November. I had been working at the clinic for about a year. It was my first pregnancy, and, full disclosure, I hadn't been using any kind of birth control, which is crazy, I know. I’m a sex educator, and I love talking about birth control. Before this experience, hormonal birth control scared me because of complications I’d heard about from friends — gaining weight, depression, etc. So I tracked my ovulation cycle, and I didn’t have any long-term partners. I thought I was OK. But, you know, things happen. I wound up pregnant.
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